im good at
worrying about people not being able to form ideas about my future (coming 2-3 years) being scared being dicks to people when they show me intentions i dont agree with not pushing myself being a ~playa generally not knowing what i want! spending more money than i make cos i forget im not working full time anymore and being a good m8
sitting around for 10-15 minute this morning in bed after i woke, wondering what to do with my day, seeing as it no longer has structure due to stuvac. i rolled over to do my assignment so i could at least be a bit productive and then got a text saying “come to the movies at 1”… which was in ten minutes time. rolled out of bed and went to the movies, still pretty much in pajamas,...
this weekend turned out just as expected… slight disappointment, coming from a different place though. last night was great!
when your tute partner writes almost 450 words on a shared mini presentation that you had planned to write in dot points in 150 words… AWKWARD
its hard to
hate people in general when there are those who are infinitely cute haha
i have a feeling
that this weekend is going to be a let down. and that im going to fuck something up in some way or another. this isnt for any particular reason… just cos its a habit of mine :)))
i know i have probably
talked about being lonely and such lately, and this might sound weird, but the thought of actually being with someone right now somewhat repulses me. like i cannot even imagine being in a relationship and being happy. i cannot even imagine liking someone properly. i dont know how to do that at the moment. how sad is that. thats why i want to spend quality time with my good friends and no...
I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.– Edgar Allan Poe (via lipsticksmiles)
p.s HURRY UP
or i will have to resist the urge to watch the new episode of house for even longer…
i love my friends
and i finished lab report #1 a week before its due. onto the next one…
ohitsjustin: All the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Who Where?”…And I’ll look down and whisper
the only way i can respond to this anymore
is with anger. it is much less draining. but still exhausting as fuck. less focus on better things now… like the weekend.
here is that post
“i do not have the energy to find things i enjoy anymore. i do not seek new music, my itunes library plays on shuffle of songs i once liked. i paint on my wall, but hardly any passion shows, too much resistance to my usual process is present. i do not make plans, just go along with them. when i am invited. and when i feel like it. i am good at losing friends, i am not good at making new...
its hard reading those posts, then reading on to see what an angry person i turned into. i suppose, it was better than being depressed. i never, ever want to be fucked over or fucked around with, again. thats why i need to surround myself with people who i can trust.
i just came across a very old old blog of mine, that i made a total of nine posts on. the most recent post on there is from thursday, august 20th, 2009. the whole post is about how i feel i am losing myself, and losing the ability to keep a well balanced life, about feeling down alot, having no energy, and mostly not knowing what to change in my life, and being very scared that it will not turn...
do you get the picture or what!? some people, fuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
kinsssthetics asked: You seem like a cool lady<3 chin up
when people talk to me like i owe them something
haha, almost like a metaphor for life. you’ll be glad to know i ended up at uni today. there was still (free) pizza left, the lab ended after one hour instead of four, and i fought my crippling desire to go back home to bed.
couldnt get out of bed this morning...
it wasnt even the 4am bed time, i just couldnt see a good reason to get out. even though i had a 2 hour patho lecture, and i HATE missing uni. just found out im missing biomed pizza day too. FUCK IT.
reason 1 reason 2 reason 3 -_-
irony and a half...
hard to handle, amongst other things
tonight i vowed
that when i got home from work at midnight, that i would lurk tumblr in front of tv. but instead i have lurked tumblr in bed. i am a disapointment. did i mention it has been one year today since i turned single? on another note, haaa im a joke
i dont remember that friday
i can almost remember that entire week, but i now ive forgotten that day… this is going to plague me until i can recall it.